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You are here: Home / Our Journey / How Much is Enough for Lunar New Year?

How Much is Enough for Lunar New Year?

By Betty
February 11, 2021

11 Feb
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Doing Enough for Lunar New Year

When I met my husband on the first day of medical school, the first question he asked was, “Are you Korean?”. I said, “Um…no…”, rolled my eyes so hard in my mind and assumed he was one of those people super into Asian culture. I certainly was not…

But every time I ran into him, I couldn’t stop thinking about him, and he was obviously head-over-heels for me😂. He ended up being the first Asian guy I dated, and I realized I had carried a lot of stereotypes and judgement. He was really cool, funny, and we had so much in common. Hours of studying were filled with laughter, pizza, and talking about life.

You know how the story goes: we got married and had kids. Along the way, I began to learn Chinese with my children, and my kids learned Korean when we used to have a nanny.

Related: 10+ Ways to Find a Language Teacher for Your Child

Turns out, my husband was the one who’s VERY lax about culture and language. He is comfortable with who he is, understands his limits, and has zero guilt for things out of his control.

Last year, when I was grieving over our kids’ rapid loss of Korean, he said “Why? I don’t feel bad, so why should you?” He knows he’s doing enough, that we’re both doing more than enough.

I struggle with enoughness.

No matter how hard I try, or how much my Chinese language skills have improved, I feel like an outsider. I am trying to teach my kids about a culture that feels intangible with my parents in Heaven. I can’t recreate my mother’s recipes, and my parents’ stories are harder to remember each passing day.

Related: A Letter to My Parents: Why I’m Teaching Your Grandchildren Chinese

Meanwhile, every year, my in-laws call and email us with a brief refresher on Korean Soellal 설날 customs. We usually don’t integrate these customs when they’re on the other side of the country.

Lunar New Year books - Chinese, Korean, and English picture books
Chinese New Year books; Korean New Year books; 36″ white floating shelves (similar here); soft grey play mat

So this post came with the self-imposed pressure to post something for Lunar New Year. Crafts my kids enjoyed, books my kids read. They are important to know and share; you can read more about Korean Lunar New Year activities and Chinese New Year crafts here.

I’m aware of the responsibility I have for representation in this corner of the internet. In that vein, I need to use that privilege to say that:

  1. Most of us are doing more than enough.
  2. Culture is dynamic and looks different for every family.

Your family’s intimate connections matter more than a whole nation’s Lunar New Year festivities, however simple your traditions and whether or not you speak other languages.

If you still aren’t convinced, just think of my husband. His only regular Korean words are 방귀 (fart) and 똥 (poop)! He never posts on social media, because he doesn’t need approval for who he is or what he does. Instead, he focuses on spending the little free time and energy doing ordinary things with us.

We are really enough for him, just as we are.❤️

Expanded on original post published on Instagram, February 10, 2021.

More bilingual parenting reflections

  • Surprising Changes in the Last Decade: Family, Career, and Language
  • Overcoming Asian Guilt on Lunar New Year
  • Learning How to Declutter After My Immigrant Mother’s Sudden Death
  • Auntie’s Advice on Accents: Be Patient, and Take the Time to Listen
  • Memory Journal with Letters to Our Children

Happy Lunar New Year, friends!

1 Comment

About Betty

I'm a Chinese-American mom who is having fun teaching my children Mandarin Chinese while re-learning the language myself. I love coming up with creative, hands-on, and educational activities, and I hope these ideas help your children have fun learning Chinese!

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Comments

  1. Christina says

    February 11, 2021 at 10:00 pm

    I just found your website last week while searching for Chinese New Year activities to do with my children in homeschool. Your pages are very informative and cover a broad spectrum of information and ideas. I have loved all the crafts you shared as well as your more personal posts like this one. Thank you for sharing! I began following you on instagram and am excited to learn more about your culture and being a multilingual family. We only speak English so to hear your perspective is very cool.

    Reply

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Dr. Betty Choi CHALK Academy - 2

Hi! I’m Betty, a Chinese-American mom, believer, pediatrician, and writer.  I’m having fun learning Chinese with my children, and I love sharing multilingual resources and teaching tips!  I hope these ideas can help your family or school! Read More…

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE: Unauthorized use and/or duplication of any content without express and written permission from CHALK Academy is strictly prohibited.  Excerpts, pdfs, images, and videos may be used only with permission, provided that full and clear credit is given to CHALK Academy / Betty Choi with appropriate and specific direction to original content.

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