When I first tried to speak Chinese to my daughter, she would get upset with the unfamiliar words. She was comfortable with English and had started to speak in sentences before age 18 months.
“No Chinese, mommy! Please stop saying those Chinese words! English only!”
I wondered how I would ever get her to speak the minority language with me.
My daughter went through the same challenge when she was 3 and our new nanny was trying to teach her Korean.
Chinese and Korean felt awkward for nearly a year before they became routine.
During my childhood, I was also uncomfortable with conversing in Chinese with my parents, albeit for different reasons (racism).
Fast forward to now, Chinese is the main mode of communication between me and my kids (4.5-year-old daughter and 22-month-old son).
How did we manage to transition from speaking English, to a mix of English & Chinese, and eventually mostly Chinese?
The key is to create a respectful, positive, prepared environment where the child can thrive without feeling forced into the minority language.
3 necessary steps that encourage the minority language
- The spoken language should be associated with at least one person
- New and interesting memories should be created in the minority language
- Written words should be linked to the spoken language
Of course, the easiest way for your child to learn a minority language is to travel.
However, many parents want to implement language learning at home since they aren’t able to journey to Asia. And even children who move to another country might take a few months to get adjusted.
As Dr. Oliver Tu writes in this advice post, “The concepts are simple but the devil is in the detail. Execution is the key.”
A language learning environment is necessary for all languages and may require a change in mindset toward the minority language.
For example purposes in this post, I will generally refer to English as the dominant language and Chinese as the minority language. However, the steps should apply to any language (our nanny has used these guidelines for Korean).
The following advice is based on my experience as a failed bilingual in my childhood, my current success in teaching my children Chinese as a non-fluent parent, and my professional knowledge as a pediatrician.
I will explain in detail how to implement the aforementioned 3 steps.
How to get your child to speak Chinese (or another minority language)
1. The adult must be consistent with the minority language
The first and most fundamental step is for your child to associate the minority language with the person who will be speaking it.
At minimum, one person should be speaking the language as consistently as possible with the child (eg, one person, one language [OPOL], minority language at home, etc).
If you forget and switch to the the dominant language, then your child will follow suit.
I highly recommend parents to record themselves periodically while interacting with their kids.
You may be surprised that you are not consistently speaking the target language, even if you think you are!
Although I started introducing Chinese to my daughter when she was 2, it took almost a year for us to speak Chinese regularly. When I look back at videos from when my daughter was age 2-3 years, very few words are spoken in Chinese!
As with anything, the beginning is the hardest, because everybody is getting used to the minority language during this period.
If your child is an infant, the only task is for yourself to get in the rhythm of speaking a different language. Infancy is the easiest time to introduce multiple languages (this is what we did with our younger son).
If you wait to speak the minority language when your child is older, you will likely experience some resistance from your child.
Toddlers and older children may struggle to speak the minority language because they have a dominant language.
Unless you are lucky enough to travel abroad for language immersion, kids who show a strong preference for English may need to be eased into the minority language at home. Here are the steps that we used:
1) The first few months: Say each word or phrase in both languages. For example, if your child tells you what she wants to eat for breakfast, repeat what she says in English once (acknowledges that you are listening), then again in Chinese at least 3 times while pointing to each food.
2) If your child is overwhelmed and resistant, or if you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable, start with a few minutes per day.
Gradually increase the duration and frequency until the goal of full language immersion.
3) After your child has learned the Chinese words, if he or she is still inclined to say “I want to eat fruit for breakfast” in English, reply back in Chinese only.
Try to be patient and warm in your reply to create a positive association with Chinese!
You: 谢谢你告诉我你早餐要吃什么。你想吃水果, 对吧?
Child: Yes, I want to eat that.
You: 我明白了。我们一起用中文说吧! 水果。我想吃水果。 请给我水果。
4) Introduce commonly used words, such as numbers, colors, shapes, body parts, food, and clothes.
Your child will have a better chance at mastering words that he or she uses frequently, which will build confidence for learning more new words.
5) Use contextual clues to explain new words in the minority language without resorting to English.
For example, if you are trying to express sadness or disappointment, frown and do your best fake-cry performance!
If you are talking about body parts, point to 眼睛，耳朵，鼻子，嘴巴，头发 while saying it in the minority language. These words need no English translation.
If you don’t have the physical object, draw or show a picture so that you remain consistent in the minority language.
Explaining minority words in English, the dominant language, will reinforce the importance of the dominant language.
6) Try not to criticize pronunciation and grammar mistakes. Mistakes are to be expected; frequent interruption and correction may discourage your child from wanting to speak.
If your child says something wrong, try to remain neutral and objective.
Instead of “不, 你说错! (No, you said that wrong!)” Try a response like “嗯，我不明白。你的意思是 ____？ (Hmm, I don’t understand. Do you mean ____?)” which acknowledges the mistake without placing blame.
A “repeat-back-feedback-question” sandwich gives an opportunity to model correct pronunciation and invite a reply.
7) Read books in the minority language, preferably with realistic pictures or photos. Even if your child doesn’t understand every word, he or she will have clues from the images in the book and your body language.
I strongly emphasize realistic images because cartoons may be confusing for a child who does not understand what the caricature represents.
For example, if teaching body parts with an image that is significantly distorted from reality, the child is subconsciously spending more effort deciphering the picture instead of listening to what you are saying.
8) Be mindful of background noise. Passive language exposure has potential to enhance or distract from learning goals.
Play music and audiobooks only in the minority language, such as during car rides.
If you’re serious about boosting Chinese learning, then English television and talking toys should be removed from the environment.
9) Find friends who speak the minority language fluently! Language is more interesting, meaningful, and useful when more people share it!!
10) If you are a parent who is trying to teach 2 languages (eg, homeschool), you may want to designate certain days of the week for the language. Other families may designate set hours in the day for different languages.
The common theme is to speak the target language consistently. Younger kids who do not understand the concept of time may need visual cues, such as a picture or words in the language.
2. Make new and interesting memories in the minority language
I strongly believe that interesting, hands-on experiences make a HUGE difference for multilingual families struggling with the minority language.
While my command of Chinese is rather weak, I believe that fun is the magic ingredient to our family’s current success.
Why does the minority language need to be fun?
When kids are doing exciting things in the dominant language at school and pretty much everywhere, they will naturally lose interest for the minority language.
After a fun day at preschool, my daughter often inadvertently slips into English when she reflects on the day, imitating her teacher and saying words that only her friends would say.
Shortly after I started Kindergarten, I rarely replied to my parents in Chinese. English was the language I was using when making unique memories at school.
Therefore, if Chinese is used only with daily routines, such as reminders to practice piano and brush teeth, the dominant language will naturally be preferred. The minority language will be considered boring and less important.
Therefore I suggest brainstorming:
How can I make the minority language a little more special and appealing while I am interacting directly with my child?
I don’t want to dwell too much on this point since most of my website is dedicated to this. But I have to emphasize that you don’t have to be Martha Stewart to do something interesting with your kids.
Babies and toddlers
For babies and toddlers, this step is relatively easy, because everything is new and exciting.
They haven’t experienced much yet, so even going to the grocery store can be fun!
Ask your child to find certain foods for you – just make sure to remember to say everything in the minority language!
For older kids, you can make a grocery shopping list in Chinese, and get them involved by checking off items that you put in your shopping cart.
Follow your child’s interests.
Yesterday, my son told me that he wanted to go in the kitchen pantry with the lights off so that we could play with the flashlight.
We had fun pointing to different things with the flashlight, and I named as many things that I could Chinese. Then I would say “这是一个搅拌机。你能说搅拌机吗?” Then he would repeat “搅拌机.“
My son learned so many new things in a fun and simple way that was initially his idea!
Play an active game
Pick something fun and easy such as hide-and-seek, which is how my daughter learned to count in Chinese!
You can be active and include new Chinese words during chase (我在追你!), throw and catch, going to the beach, building a snow-fort, etc.
Do something new
Older kids who already have English as their dominant language will need more convincing that the minority language is appealing and “cool”.
This is when I think hands-on activities and new experiences can make a big impact.
An example is a simple kitchen science activity. We frequently use baking soda and vinegar (+/- food coloring) because it’s fun to see the materials fizz!
You could preface something like: “Today, mama has something very cool to show you! But I am going to tell you about it in Chinese. It is a special experiment during which we will speak Chinese!”
Non-language classes in the minority language
Then when your family is ready, you can do an interactive Chinese literacy activity to hone in on all of those senses.
On a special occasion, you can set up a tactile Chinese literacy station as shown below. Which leads me to my next point…
Look for music lessons, art classes, sports and dance studios where the instructors and peers speak the minority language.
Learning Chinese through natural conversation in these other educational settings is far more enticing than sitting in a Chinese class copying worksheet after worksheet.
3. Written words must be linked to the spoken language
When kids are infants, you can read books in any language. In the early years, children are primarily looking at the pictures.
Families who are in the process of adding a minority language often introduce words bilingually through books in the dominant language.
Eventually, the written text should be associated with the sounds of the language. Language experts generally recommend that children should be exposed to books in the minority language.
However, a print-rich environment is effective only if the text is linked to the spoken language.
Otherwise, words in the minority language will be squiggles on paper.
Confusion often arises in the setting of a child who requests a book in the dominant language.
In order to foster a love for reading and respect for autonomy, I believe in letting kids choose books that they want read, regardless of age.
But if you want to read the minority language, the environment must support this. Freedom with limitations is key.
If you have minority language books in the forefront, such as with the cover showing and/or a book open on display, and English books less readily available, kids will be more likely to choose the minority books.
Rotate these books so that your child can notice and explore them, and be sure to actually read them in the target language.
Two common scenarios that parents of young children may experience:
Scenario 1: What happens when my 22-month-old son brings me a Korean book that I cannot read? Should I just ignore his request?
Personally, I don’t have the heart to decline my son’s book choice when he looks at me earnestly.
I am also aware that my refusal to respect his choice can inadvertently cause him to have a negative association with Korean books.
Trust me: I learned the hard way when my 4-year-old daughter refused to read Korean books for 8 months.
I currently have 2 effective approaches to this situation:
A) I welcome the book that my son has chosen independently and look at the pictures with him quietly. If he asks questions about the pictures, then I’ll reply in Chinese.
B) In Chinese, I’ll reply “Oohhh that looks like a great Korean book! Sorry, hmmm I’m not sure how to read the words! Can we save it for (Nanny’s name) so you can have special reading time with her?”
And then I redirect quickly and say, “Hey! Look at all of these great Chinese options! Which one do you want to read with mommy?!“
Scenario 2: What happens when my kids want to read an English book?
A) I defer to my husband if he’s around.
B) If I am the only one available for bedtime story, then I say that I want to choose a Chinese book as well. I emphasize the importance of turn-taking, and I read the Chinese book in Chinese.
Then I read the kids’ chosen English book in English plus translate and discuss some parts in Chinese.
Because English is the dominant language, I know that my kids will naturally learn English in the school years.
But speaking bilingually when the material is in the dominant language encourages kids to consider the minority language.
Conversely, in a monolingual country such as the United States, I discourage reading minority books in the dominant language.
For example, if the child has a strong preference for English, don’t read a Chinese book in English as this could be counterproductive to learning the minority language.
C) If it’s time to do English reading practice or homework with my older daughter, I speak bilingually in English and Chinese. If you are responsible for teaching multiple languages to older kids, you can create a schedule as depicted earlier in this post.
Organizing books by language
On the below shelf, the minority language baby books are sorted in different baskets.
Of course, photos speak a thousand words! Notice the following image from a bilingual English/French-speaking family.
Adding pictures of parents above the books is a concrete way to present the concept of OPOL to a child who cannot yet recognize different alphabets.
Consistency, new memories, and visual/textual cues are key for encouraging kids to speak the minority language
Oh, and patience. Lots of it. Know that everybody might feel awkward for a while. But if you can be consistent, bilingualism can become routine and fun over time!
Advice on raising multilingual children
- Raising Multilingual Children As a Non-Fluent Parent: 7 Lessons Learned
- Teach Your Child A Second Language at Home: 5 Key Steps
- One Person, One Language: Our Family’s Trilingual Schedule
- Fun & Educational Chinese Activities – A How-To Guide
- Bilingual children refusing to speak the home language (Language on the Move)
- What to Do When Your Bilingual Child Won’t Speak Your Language (Bilingual Monkeys)
Tips on how to teach kids Chinese
- When and How to Introduce Chinese Characters to Kids?
- Memorize Chinese Characters with 5 Basic Tips
- When Should My Child Learn Hanyu Pinyin?
- Create a Print-Rich Environment with Labels that Promote Literacy
- How I Taught My Child 1000+ Chinese Characters as a Non-Fluent Speaker
- How To Create a Chinese Language Ecosystem (CE Bilingual)
- How To Jumpstart Your Kid’s Chinese (Mandarin Mama)
Bilingual Facebook Groups
As always, please leave a comment with any questions, and I’ll try my best to answer them! Or better yet, please join our Facebook group! Montessori-inspired Kids Learning Chinese and English is a community of parents worldwide who are excited to share bilingual book recommendations, Montessori tips, and learning materials!
For more support, I also recommend the following Facebook groups:
- Raising Bilingual Children in Chinese & English
- Christian Parents Raising Bilingual Children in English & Chinese
You can also follow me on Facebook where I share my latest posts as well as favorite articles about children’s education, Chinese resources, and hands-on activities from other websites!
In addition, on Instagram, I share activity highlights and how we integrate Chinese learning in our daily life!